Acceptance is knowing that God has a plan and that I don't have to know the details to trust Him. I just need to read His word and Follow His direction. 
Reflect on that for a moment. 
Then ask yourself, "What does acceptance mean to me?"

Acceptance isn't always easy. In fact, in regard to the complicated dynamic of addiction, it is often times very difficult. 

If you've found yourself in an uphill battle attempting to grasp at any fraction of normalcy after a loved one's addiction has impacted your life, you are not alone. 

If you've found yourself in a downward spiral struggling with your own addiction and complicated chaos, you are not alone either.
Both roles in this scenario are equally heartbreaking. 
Acceptance is something we can all learn regardless of the position you find yourself in today. 

You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it. 
Also known as the three C's.
​Which ultimately leads us to acceptance. 

No matter what your relationship to your loved one, it was not you that lead them to their addiction. Regardless if you raised them, played a major role in their upbringing, or feel that whatever you've put them through must be the cause, it's simply untrue.
​You do not have the power to cause someone else's addiction.  
They chose to drink/use and that is what has lead to their addiction. 
Accept that you did not cause it. ​

If you are like the majority of people who love someone with an addiction, you have tried to control your loved one or their addiction to at least some degree. 
You may have enabled them in an attempt to prevent them from being harmed. 
Perhaps you've deleted numbers of using friends, dumped out all of their alcohol or flushed their drugs. 
You've spent sleepless nights worrying about something that you cannot control. 
Accepting that the choice is theirs is often times the most difficult of the C's. 
I know it was for me. 
I left my first ALANON meeting feeling very angry. It was actually my first and last. 
I went there looking for answers about how I could heal my loved one. 
When they told me that I must accept that it is her choice - I thought what a waste of time. 
Many years later and through many, many attempts at trying to help her - I realized they were right. 
It didn't matter what I said or did. If she was not ready to quit, she wasn't going to. 
Accepting that we cannot control someone else's life choices is our "rock bottom." 
Until you've given it all you've got, you won't be able to detach. 
​Until you detach, you won't be able to accept that it is out of your control. 

As badly as we wish there was a cure for this disease - the reality is that this is oftentimes just a manageable chronic condition.
​Only Jesus can completely cure someone of this illness.
So while we can pray for a miracle, we can also prepare for ongoing treatment.

Think about alcohol and drug addiction the same way that you would think about diabetes. 
A person who has diabetes is not able to cure it, but they are able to make lifestyle changes to manage it. 
A person with an addiction is not in control of how their brain responds to drugs or alcohol, but they are responsible for managing it to whatever degree possible. 
Addiction is simply the byproduct of an underlying issue. 
Just as a person with diabetes must take medication to manage their illness, a person with an addiction will likely need to do the same. 
Whether it is medication to improve their mental health or specific medication designed to make them sick if they drink, either way, they are responsible for ensuring they do not drink or use. 

A person with diabetes will need to incorporate healthy activities in their life. 
So will a person with an addiction. 
A person with diabetes will have to be mindful of what they eat and eliminate certain foods and drinks. 
​A person with an addiction will also have to be mindful of what they consume and eliminate drugs and alcohol. 

We must accept that there is not a cure that we can provide. 
We can pray continually that God will choose to cure them, but if he doesn't, we must accept his sovereign answer. 

Dear Heavenly Father, 
Help us to accept your will for our life and the lives of the ones we love. We pray for our addicted loved ones. We pray that you would heal them from this disease.
We know that this is a big prayer, but we also know that we serve a big God.
We know that you are all powerful, all knowing, and that your wisdom surpasses far beyond ours. 
We are grateful that we can trust you.
When we can't see your plan, we can still trust your process.
You are faithful. 
God, I pray for everyone that is struggling with releasing control over these difficult situations. 
The more we focus on you, the less we have to focus on controlling anything else. 
Our lives are in your hands. 
Lord, you are the potter, we are the clay. 
Mold us. 
Change us from the inside out. 
Help us to focus more on improving ourselves and less on what we desire to change about anyone else. 
We thank you and praise your holy name!

In Jesus Name, 
Amen

Until Next Time, 

​Your Praying Friend

Is your mind full of anxious thoughts? To-do lists for today and worries about tomorrow?
Let's try to declutter our minds through the practice of mindfulness. 

When our loved one is in active addiction it is sometimes difficult to be encouraged.
It can feel as though our head is barely above water.
​We are trying so desperately to save them all the while we are oftentimes losing ourself.

Motivation Monday has been so successful we've decided to share a daily dose of encouragement for each day of this week! 

In this post you'll find a photo for each day of the week.
Underneath each photo will be a short prayer, a helpful tip and a challenge for that day. 
Come back every day this week to draw closer to God and closer to a week filled with accomplishment and success! 

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for the gift of a new week. We pray for a positive attitude that we may see the best in every person and in every situation this week. We pray that we may find you in even the most unusual of places. Let us feel your spirit guide us throughout the week. Give us the words to speak to the people you bring into our lives. Let our actions model your great love. 
Lord, when others see us, let them see you instead. 

In Jesus Name, 
​Amen

With this in mind let's be cautious of what we allow to enter our minds. Let's pay close attention to what we spend our time thinking about and if it is not pleasing to God - do not allow it to live in your precious mind.
Let's choose our words carefully and always strive to speak in truth and love.
​Let our actions reflect Christ. 
Let our character be one of integrity, hard work, discipline, and kindness. 
Seek God through continual prayer to mold our thoughts, words, actions, and character. 

What is the smallest sacrifice you can make for someone today? 

​Thoughts - Can you say a prayer for a friend?
Words - Can you speak encouragement to a coworker?
Actions - Can you help a neighbor with a chore?
Character - Can you take the time to actively listen to your spouse without judging as they confide in you? Can you reassure them that they are safe with you and that they can trust you completely and then live up to that?

Good Morning and welcome friends!
Today we are talking about what we value and how we truly show that we care about what we say is important to us. 
Simply put, do our actions match our words. 

As we have for the past couple of weeks we will start with an ice breaker and then get into an activity. While this post is created as a resource for counselors, it is also perfect for anyone that wants to try these ice breakers with family or utilize these activities individually for their own self-development. Today's activity is even appropriate to do with your kids! Tailor it to your own needs. 
I love getting children's perspective on what is important and this is a fun, crafty way to pick their brain!

Today's Motivational Monday could be completely summarized with the above Bible verse. 
So many have pondered how to become motivated. 
​What drives us? What keeps us going?
How do we become energized and enthused about the every day mundane? 

The truth is, it's not about us or about "feeling" motivated. It's about doing the Lord's work, the Lord's will. Regardless of how we ​feel. 

Of course it's much more enjoyable if we are motivated or encouraged and hopefully a
​Colossians 3:23 mindset can provide just that... motivation and encouragement to strive for the best you have to offer as though you were offering it to the Lord.

Good Morning Friends!
​
Today we're talking about guilt and shame, but we're not just going to have a boring old discussion group. Instead, we will share a "healing from guilt and shame" activity.
​If you read last week's post on thinking errors, it's going to be very similar. 
We'll start with a couple ice breaker ideas and then we'll jump into processing these difficult emotions. As uncomfortable as it may be to talk with others about your guilt and shame - this activity always receives rave reviews!

Whether you're a counselor facilitating a group, individual session or someone seeking help to work on healing from personal guilt and shame, this activity is for everyone. 

Dear Heavenly Father, 

 We know that it is not your will that any of us suffer with heavy burdens. In fact, you tell us to cast our cares on you. Today as we go through this activity - let that be the resounding focus of our hearts. As we talk about the guilt and shame that burden us, let us give it all to you, Lord. Thank you for loving and caring for us. We pray for anyone that is haunted by overwhelming emotions. We pray that you would heal them totally and completely. 
It's in Jesus' name we pray.
​
Amen

Good Monday Morning Friends!
To brighten your day we've compiled all the best memes that are sure to motivate!
Make sure to comment and share your favorites with your friends. You never know, it just might brighten their day, too! 

Dear Heavenly Father, 
Thank you for a new week filled with new opportunity. As we reflect on the past few days, the celebration of your resurrection, let us keep that victory spirit with us throughout the week. It is such a comfort to know that in you we have all that we will ever need.
The grave couldn't hold you!
Our almighty king conquered death and because you live life is worth living! 
When challenges come our way let us remember all that you went through on that Good Friday. Let us rejoice that any heartache here on Earth is temporary and look forward to the pain free future we have with you in heaven. 
We thank you and praise your holy name!
In Jesus name, 
​Amen

1.

Over my near decade of experience with facilitating groups, I've had the opportunity to try out some great and some not so great ideas.
For the next couple of weeks I'll give you the do's and don'ts for how to lead a successful group therapy session. I'll also go into detail about some must try activities! 

The best part about these activities is that you don't have to be a counselor or leading a group to benefit from them. They can all be individualized exercises that you can do on your own or as a family at home, at a Bible study, a women's retreat, etc.