What is Acceptance?
Thought tor the Day
Acceptance is knowing that God has a plan and that I don't have to know the details to trust Him. I just need to read His word and Follow His direction.
Reflect on that for a moment.
Then ask yourself, "What does acceptance mean to me?"
Acceptance isn't always easy. In fact, in regard to the complicated dynamic of addiction, it is often times very difficult.
If you've found yourself in an uphill battle attempting to grasp at any fraction of normalcy after a loved one's addiction has impacted your life, you are not alone.
If you've found yourself in a downward spiral struggling with your own addiction and complicated chaos, you are not alone either.
Both roles in this scenario are equally heartbreaking.
Acceptance is something we can all learn regardless of the position you find yourself in today.
Speaking to the loved one of a person with an addiction
You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it.
Also known as the three C's.
Which ultimately leads us to acceptance.
No matter what your relationship to your loved one, it was not you that lead them to their addiction. Regardless if you raised them, played a major role in their upbringing, or feel that whatever you've put them through must be the cause, it's simply untrue.
You do not have the power to cause someone else's addiction.
They chose to drink/use and that is what has lead to their addiction.
Accept that you did not cause it.
If you are like the majority of people who love someone with an addiction, you have tried to control your loved one or their addiction to at least some degree.
You may have enabled them in an attempt to prevent them from being harmed.
Perhaps you've deleted numbers of using friends, dumped out all of their alcohol or flushed their drugs.
You've spent sleepless nights worrying about something that you cannot control.
Accepting that the choice is theirs is often times the most difficult of the C's.
I know it was for me.
I left my first ALANON meeting feeling very angry. It was actually my first and last.
I went there looking for answers about how I could heal my loved one.
When they told me that I must accept that it is her choice - I thought what a waste of time.
Many years later and through many, many attempts at trying to help her - I realized they were right.
It didn't matter what I said or did. If she was not ready to quit, she wasn't going to.
Accepting that we cannot control someone else's life choices is our "rock bottom."
Until you've given it all you've got, you won't be able to detach.
Until you detach, you won't be able to accept that it is out of your control.
As badly as we wish there was a cure for this disease - the reality is that this is oftentimes just a manageable chronic condition.
Only Jesus can completely cure someone of this illness.
So while we can pray for a miracle, we can also prepare for ongoing treatment.
Think about alcohol and drug addiction the same way that you would think about diabetes.
A person who has diabetes is not able to cure it, but they are able to make lifestyle changes to manage it.
A person with an addiction is not in control of how their brain responds to drugs or alcohol, but they are responsible for managing it to whatever degree possible.
Addiction is simply the byproduct of an underlying issue.
Just as a person with diabetes must take medication to manage their illness, a person with an addiction will likely need to do the same.
Whether it is medication to improve their mental health or specific medication designed to make them sick if they drink, either way, they are responsible for ensuring they do not drink or use.
A person with diabetes will need to incorporate healthy activities in their life.
So will a person with an addiction.
A person with diabetes will have to be mindful of what they eat and eliminate certain foods and drinks.
A person with an addiction will also have to be mindful of what they consume and eliminate drugs and alcohol.
We must accept that there is not a cure that we can provide.
We can pray continually that God will choose to cure them, but if he doesn't, we must accept his sovereign answer.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help us to accept your will for our life and the lives of the ones we love. We pray for our addicted loved ones. We pray that you would heal them from this disease.
We know that this is a big prayer, but we also know that we serve a big God.
We know that you are all powerful, all knowing, and that your wisdom surpasses far beyond ours.
We are grateful that we can trust you.
When we can't see your plan, we can still trust your process.
You are faithful.
God, I pray for everyone that is struggling with releasing control over these difficult situations.
The more we focus on you, the less we have to focus on controlling anything else.
Our lives are in your hands.
Lord, you are the potter, we are the clay.
Change us from the inside out.
Help us to focus more on improving ourselves and less on what we desire to change about anyone else.
We thank you and praise your holy name!
In Jesus Name,
We hope you found today's message helpful.
If you or a loved one has an addiction, we want to pray for you.
Join our community of praying believers.
Together and through Christ, we will overcome the negative impact addiction is having on our lives and the lives of the ones we love.
There is power in prayer.
Please share this message with your friends and family.
It is our goal to pray for as many people as possible.
Until Next Time,
Your Praying Friend
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Substance Abuse Counselor