We Repeat What We don't Repair

Healing from Trauma: How Fairytales can be Therapeutic

A traumatic experience is defined as an event, or series of events, which cause a lot of stress. Traumatic events are marked by a sense of horror, helplessness, serious injury, or the threat of serious injury or death.

​Trauma is a tricky topic.

​We all have varying degrees of trauma that we have experienced. 
The trauma that I struggle with may seem insignificant or as though it does not even constitute as trauma from your perspective.
Whereas the trauma you struggle with may be more apparent or severe. 
For instance, most people would agree that the loss of a parent is traumatic.
Likewise, most people would agree that the loss of a parent at a particularly young age is more traumatic than the expected loss, due to old age. 

Does that mean that an adult struggling to process grief is invalid?
Of course not. 
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It's not a competition.
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If an event or experience disturbs your emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual wellbeing the goal should be to heal from that experience. 
What we don't want to do is pretend it didn't happen or hyper-focus on it to the point of allowing that experience to negatively impact your life. 
Instead we should strive to understand and accept the traumatic experiences to the best of our ability. 
Then we should work through any unhelpful feelings or behaviors we have developed related to our trauma. 

Fairytale Activity
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This may sound silly, but writing about your trauma through the form of a fairytale is actually an effective way to work through the healing process.
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Opening up about hurtful experiences aren't typically our favorite thing to do.
Many people become overwhelmed by just the thought of recounting their experience, thus they avoid addressing the trauma altogether. 

The great thing about a fairytale is the ability to disassociate (in a healthy way) from the pain, just enough to begin the conversation. 

When you write about a princess growing up with a wicked stepmother, it's somehow more manageable than specifically saying what your stepmother did to you. 

How to Write a Fairytale

​It's best to brainstorm what events are most important, before you begin writing. 
You could do this by creating a timeline of significant events. For example at age 10 - parents divorced. Age 13 abused by a neighbor. Age 16 - unplanned pregnancy. 
Age 21 met Prince Charming, married and lived happily ever after - or whatever the case may be. 

By listing out significant events you'll be able to decide which ones you want to focus on and which ones you can eliminate. 
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Once you are ready to begin writing you'll need to choose a theme. 
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What's a fairytale without a princess, a mermaid, or a young girl who makes friends with bears in the woods. 
​Get creative. Let your mind wander. 
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But most importantly 
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Avoid using your name and writing in first person. 
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What makes this exercise therapeutic is the healthy detachment aspect.  
If we create our life story, but tell it as though it has happened to someone else we may be able to experience some understanding that we hadn't achieved in the past. 
Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
So let's take a look at our story from an objective point of view. 
We may be surprised at what we learn about ourself. 
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For a sample fairytale see below
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The best part about this activity...

The story isn't over yet!

Not only can you create any ending you'd like in your fairytale, but you also get to create the ending to your real life story!
Our lives are a sum total of the choices we make.
​It's true that we are each dealt a hand of cards to play with, but it's also true that we get to choose whether to make the best of it or to fold. 
So what's the choice going to be? 

If you try this activity please let us know in the comments below! We'd love to hear about your experience. 
Until Next Time, 
​Your Praying Friend