I love you
In fact, I love you very much,
If I didn't - this wouldn't hurt
It wouldn't feel like such a gut punch.
Every lie you tell
Every sneaky thing you do,
It all comes rushing back
Each time I find something new.
I've tried to understand
I've tried to balance my hurt feelings with your recovery,
I've broken more and more
With each new discovery.
I've worked on myself
I recognize I'm the only one I can control,
But being in a marriage...
You're the other half that makes us whole.
I can do all the self help in the world
But going through the same thing again and again delays my own healing,
I don't know how I overcome these ruminating thoughts
Or escape these complicated feelings.
The truth is I can't
Until you to make a decision,
When we said "I do"
This is not what either of us envisioned.
Commit to this marriage
Commit to pursuing God and your wife,
Remember the vows you recited
The promise you made for life.
I've been patient
But I will not be a doormat,
I don't want words
It's too late for that.
Anything less is you telling me we're through,
This is your decision
It's not me leaving you.
I will support you
In whatever choice you make,
Choose your family or your addiction
But it can't be both -one or the other is going to break.
If you are struggling to relinquish control we pray this journal helps you give it to God -
You're not helpless. Pray for your husband
Substance Abuse Counselor